


Ay Percy!

by Toxic_Luck



Category: Epithet Erased (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, I mean percy comes out but there's a bit more too it than just that, Kinda, One Shot, Ramsey gets embarassed, ace!percy, also a murder-suicide is mentioned a few times, another one you may ask and to that yes another one, coming out fic, howie honeyglow is also mentioned but not actually in it, no beta i will die like the car carcrash drives, they talk about sexual attraction but nothing like graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:46:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29456952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toxic_Luck/pseuds/Toxic_Luck
Summary: Ay, usually used with following me to express sorrow or regret.Ay, varient of aye, archaic poetic an expression of misery or surprise.Ay, a term for someone who is not allosexual and not alloromantic.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Ay Percy!

"Ay, Perc." Ramsey flagged the cop over to where he was seated on a couch. "C'mere for a sec, would ya?"

“What is it, Ramsey?” Percy walked over, rolling her shoulders back to straighten her posture from sitting at her desk for a while.

“You and that construction boy-”

“Howie Honeyglow.”

“Yeah, yeah, him.”

“What about him?”

“You two know each other, right?”

“Of course we do, we both work in construction. We used to get onto the same projects in our youth.”

“Mhm. That’s nice. So you’re co-workers?”

“Yes, I suppose you could say that. Although I have been working much more in the police station than in a construction site, it may be a bit of a stretch-”

Ramsey cut her off with a wave of his hand, “that’s it?”

“What… do you mean?” She tilted her head to the side, giving the con-man a confused look.

“You and Howie. Y’all got something… going on?” Ramsey smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“We’re coworkers. We have work going on.”

"Seriously though, y'all have something going on, right? I mean, I can't be the only one who sensed the tension."

"Ah yes." Percy nodded. "Things are quite tense between us.”

“Yeah?”

“Howie doesn’t like those who have epithets.”

“Not that kind of tension, Perc.” Ramsey sighed.

“What other kind is there?”

“Sexual tension, Percy.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s a real thing? I thought it was only found in the fanfictions of hormonal teens or being the fantasy aspect of romance novels that cause them to be classified as fiction.”

“The what that made it what?” Ramsey raised an eyebrow. “Oh, no, it’s real.”

“Strange.” Percy hummed.

“It’s… really not strange, Perc.” With a soft sigh, Ramsey continued. “Quite normal actually, nothin’ bad about it y’know?”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” 

“Peculiar. I always assumed my middle-school peers were joking when they made such claims and I was just not in on what was amusing.”

“No, no, there’s a lot of different kinds of tension but sexual is very specific kind.” Ramsey shrugged. “Being a horny hormonal teenager is a very different topic.”

Percy raised her eyebrows with a thoughtful hum, “I suppose you have taught me something today, Ramsey.”

“That’s it? You’re not even going to answer my question?”

“Oh, of course.” Percy smiled. “There’s no sexual tension between us. Howie is quite proud in being aroace, and I myself have no interest or desires in pursuing a sexual relationship or a relationship including sexual acts.”

“Nothin’ at all?”

“I don’t believe I have ever actually felt sexual attraction,” Percy hummed as she tapped her chin, “though I suppose it’s hard to say I haven’t felt something when I don’t know what it would feel like if I did.”

“You really haven’t?”

“Describe it to me.”

“ _What_?” Ramsey squeaked, staring at Percy in disbelief.

“Describe it to me.” Percy repeated rather seriously, “I would like to know more on the topic, clearly I’m not educated enough to properly assess your inquiry. You seem to know what you’re talking about.”

“Uh- hah-” Ramsey stammered, exhaling loudly, “ _whoo_ , there’s a lot to unpack there Perc.”

“I have the time.” With an innocent smile, Percy pulled over a chair and sat down. Metaphorically trapping Ramsey in a similar manner one might trap a rat in a cup.

“Uh, okay.” Ramsey gave a hesitant glance before adverting his eyes elsewhere and clearing his throat. “Where to start, where to start…”

“Take your time.”

Ramsey could only stare at Percy’s small smile and attentive appearance. It felt like he was about to kick a puppy.

“Your body starts feeling in love before your brain even gets a clue, like y'know the really cheesy kinda way people portray romance in media?"

“I don’t watch romance movies.”

Ramsey inhaled a sharp breath, now staring at the ceiling as his cheeks started to get warm from embarrassment. “You get the _fuzzy warm feeling_ inside your chest, you find yourself only thinking about them, your ex- if you have one- gets kicked outta your brain, you- you like spending time with them so you try to spend more time with them. Uh, you end up daydreaming about them, talking about them to others, uh-”

“All behaviours of a stalker.” Percy nodded solemnly.

“ _What_? No!” Ramsey couldn’t help but laugh at her interjection. “Not at all! It’s not that creepy or obsessive. You’d still respect their boundaries if you’re in love with them. If you start- it wouldn’t be love then. There is a firm line between being in love and being creepy.”

“Are you sure?” 

“I could never be more sure, Perc.” Ramsey sighed with a smile. “Trust a man, huh?”

“I suppose you are the expert on the topic.” Percy mumbled with a nod. “Continue.”

"Your body starts to mimic them, physically and verbally."

Percy opened and closed her mouth, giving Ramsey a strange look.

“What?”

“... _Why_?”

“‘Cause that’s what people do. I’m sure there’s some actual reason but I dunno it.” Ramsey shrugged. “Probably psychological. There’s always _something_ with psychologists.”

Percy nodded hesitantly.

"You get warmer, your heart skips a beat, you want to get physically close to them. You do get physically closer to them without realizing it sometimes. Uh, you wanna touch them. It could be sexual but not always, it could just be like generally accepted touches."

“Sexual touches?”

“Please don’t make me explain this.” Ramsey hid his face in his hands.

“Alright, I suppose I won’t.” Percy mumbled. “I suppose it’s literal then? Touches of sexual nature?”

“Yes!” His voice squeaked again as his ears started to turn pink.

Percy nodded again, “odd, but continue.”

“ _Odd_?” Ramsey huffed exasperatedly.

“Of course. Why would anyone touch someone with sexual intent? It’s must more efficient to touch them with your hand.”

“You gotta be kidding me here.” He sighed. “There is an intent behind your touch, not what you’re actually physically touching them with.”

“That would make more sense.” Percy nodded.

“Yeah. It would.” Ramsey tried hard to hold back laughter at the situation. “Like when you shake someones hand, you touch them with the intent of greeting them.”

“Ah.” Percy smiled. “Thank you. You can continue.”

“Mhm?” Ramsey looked away, glancing at the clock then the papers on a nearby table before continuing. “You feel drawn to them. You want to be with them alone, to be able to just look at them and speak to them without others around. You'd be all, uhm, _hot and bothered_ and stuff like that. You find yourself doing things you otherwise wouldn’t, doing stupid things for their attention, so on. You want them there, against you, it doesn’t really matter the situation. Y'know?"

“No, I don’t know.” With a nod of her head, she gave a smile at Ramsey. “Thank you for explaining it to me. I’ve never felt sexual attraction.”

Ramsey took a large inhale, hoping to will away the embarrassed blush that took over his face during the whole of the conversation. “Glad I could help, Perc.”

Percy nodded once more, standing up and returning to her desk like the conversation hadn’t even happened.

“So uh…” Ramsey struggled for a few moments to find the right words. “What does that make you?”

“Make me?”

“Yeah, you don’t feel sexual attraction, what- what’s the label you use?”

“Oh, I suppose I’ve never given it much thought.” She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Much like my gender, I suppose I go with whatever people call me.”

“Huh?” Ramsey squinted. “Like your gender?”

“Mhm.” Percy nodded, “I believe it would be _she/they_ , but everyone uses she anyways.”

“What do you prefer though?”

“Both work.”

“Alright.” Ramsey nodded. “Any other labels?”

“Ay works. You seem to have known before I.” 

Ramsey could only blink.

“I believe it means those who do not identify as allosexual nor alloromantic. I don’t know of a more accurate label at this moment. Could I get back to your question at a later date?”

“I use _ay_ the same way people use _oi_.”

“Then I suppose we have varying definitions on our hands.” Percy’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Look, thank you for telling me. You can tell me a different label at another date, that’s fine. I- we’re cool?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Percy looked at him, tilting her head.

Ramsey just stared silently. “Right. Uh, cool. Yeah. Just- Just checkin’ is all.”

There was a long pause of silence, Ramsey entertained the thought of just getting up and leaving but decided against it when Percy looked back up at him once more.

“Do most people… feel sexual attraction?”

“Uh-huh.” Ramsey nodded. “Common occurrence.”

“It’s certainly given me more insight.” Percy mused, “things seem to be making more sense.”

“Like what?”

“Like this murder-suicide.”

Ramsey laughed at how unexpected that statement was. “Really?”

“Of course! Many statements said the two were in love, though only a couple claimed that the girlfriend was forcing herself onto the disinterested boyfriend. They broke up a few days before the crime went down. Clearly, sexual attraction was at play.”

Ramsey opened and closed his mouth a few times before setting on a nod. “I suppose it was at play.”

“The creepy kind.” Percy clarifies with a small smile.

“Definitely the creepy kind.”

“I guess people really do strange things when emotions are involved.”

“Yeah, it causes messes.” Ramsey nodded.

“Sexual attraction is dangerous.” Percy nodded in return. “Why do so many people feel it?”

“Well most people cope in better ways than killing their ex.” He sighed. “Like cry and eat food.”

“That _is_ a much better way to go about things than crime.”

“Yeah. Sexual attraction is never as intense as fiction makes it out to be. Load of bullshi-” Ramsey paused as Percy looked at him- “oop. Bullshoop.”

Another long pause of silence settled in the room.

“Wait, you’ve been workin’ on a murder-suicide the entire time?”

“Of course.”

“And you didn’t _say anything_?”

“Did I need to?” Percy frowned slightly.

“I don’t think murder-suicides are in my jurisdiction as a consultant.”

“Of course they’re not, I just like your company.” She shrugged.

Ramsey gave her a suspicious look, “sure.”

“I do, you’re turning your life of crime around to a life of the law. It’s only fair that, due to your good behaviour, you may spend time outside of your cell in a safe environment. As your parole officer, I’d need to accompany you anyways.”

“Just doin’ your job, huh?”

“I suppose.”

“Ay, what’s that supposed to mean?”

Percy just smiled, turning back to her file.


End file.
